I still feel like giving up. I thought that if I made it through everything before, then all this would seem easy. It doesn’t. It feels like I’m tied to the train tracks and train after train destroys me further every day. Some days its okay. Some days I can bear it. Other days I'm barely awake when I start smoking up.
I just want to leave here, but I don’t want to die. There’s no end to this... I guess some kids are just born with tragedy in their blood.
I don’t want to leave this life, just this reality. This reality that I feel isn’t even real sometimes. And then the realisation that there’s no way out, that this will never really end hits me like a thousand bricks.
There’s got to be more than the same mundane things every day?