Thinking In Reverse

I feel so alone in this shell. It doesn’t matter what I do… I’m so alone. I know I’m sick. I know that maybe if I told someone, I could get help. Then I could get better. But that would mean telling someone. I can’t. I cant be any more of a burden to everyone. I fuck things up all the time and this is one thing I’m not going to let myself screw up someone’s life with. At least, for now, I’m okay. I feel stable enough to hold on for a while. But one day I’m either going to have to tell someone, or im going to die. I don’t want everything to be this way anymore – I don’t want to feel this way anymore. But some of it’s my fault. I let it eat me up. I guess im hanging between everyone I've lost and everyone left here. I’ve got to pick. And I don’t want to. But there are some things you have to do whether you like it or not.