I wish you had some other way to escape everything.I hope you found the happiness you never could in this life. I dont care if I'm sad for the rest of my life, however short that may be, but I hope and wish with all my heart that I could change something so that you never were. Sometimes I'll be looking at the ground and think of you, and how you used to smile, how you always wanted us all to be happy no matter what. You always put others first. And I'm so scared because I never saw how hurt you were.
And there are weeks where all I think about is how you killed yourself and how I should too. And I want to see you and noone else, I'd give everything to see you for a moment. I'd give my life to see you smile.
It always feels empty. Cold and bleak and dead and pointless without you. I'd like to think you're with me but I know you're not. You're never coming back. I hear the doorbell and every time, for a fleeting moment, I think it's you. And then it hits me, and to be honest I literally ache inside.