This at seem like no big deal at all but I fucking want to destroy myself because I am not worth anything. All because of a piercing. Fuck everything. My septum is really crooked and pierced too low, the swellings gone down and now I cam see the placement is really bad. It's fine for everyday and will be fine or a while, but in about a year or so I am going to have to let it grow over and have it redone. Arghhhhhhhh it's so fucking annoying, I'm so disappointed. It looks great for now and I love it, but it won't last, with the placement there's a huge chance it will reject and also in a while it will be really noticeable. Fuckthis. I'm so angry gahhh

Just updated Short Stories, link is on the top right (:

I've started writing again.

You ruin every fucking day for me. Anything someone says reminds me of you, of what you did. You're filth. I hope you fucking die. I will fucking kill you and spit on your shallow grave in the middle of nowhere. Nobody will wonder what happened to you because everyone will hate you. They will all know what you did to me, to that other girl, and who knows what you have done to others.
I can't quite get the feeling of you out of my skin, the taste of you from my mouth. Every fucking day I hope you choke, and I hope one day you feel like you made me feel. I am disgusted in myself because of what you did to me, and it's like you stole something I can never replace. I am missing a part of myself that you've destroyed.

I think I know what I am searching for; a purpose. I need to do something with my life.
Even though this is practically close to nothing on the scale of things that people realise, this is a huge accomplishment for me. So, plan A is to think of plan B.
I feel accomplished, and I will spend a while finding out what my purpose is. Or what anything is.
I think I need solitude; resoluteness, and simplicity.

I have no idea what I'm doing.
I want to help. I want to fix you. That sounds not the way I wanted it to. I care, alot. I really do. Please don't hurt yourself, I want to take away the pain. It's pointless hurting myself trying to stop you from hurting, but it's the only thing I know how to do. I want to make everything okay. I want you to be happy.I want you to know that you're wanted. I want you to know that you're needed.
Please don't hurt yourself tonight.

Today was hard. I was manic then depressive. My arm is a fucking mangled mess, and I don't web remember anything cause I was disassociating. I am physically and emotionally drained and exhausted. I am an honest mess. I passed out in art today an when I woke up, noone even noticed. Nobody cared.
I should be used to it by now.

Wishbones and collarbones, dreaming and dying. Dreaming of dying. I'm back down again and it's horrible to hide. No blades. No escape. Someone save me. All I am is confused. I'm scared. Help me. Nobody notices, nobody cares, i need help and somebody to say, "are you okay?" and actually mean it, and actually want the answer. I wouldn't know what to say anyway, "I'm fine" has gotten to be such an automatic response; I don't even know what's wrong anymore. I think I want to die again. I don't know. I think I feel happy. I know I feel sad. What the hell is going on in my head???!!