How do you feel when you can't sleep at night?
when your thoughts keep you awake, and alone, you lie and stare at the ceiling for hours
theres a bit of the paint in the corner of the room that's peeling, theres posters with corners falling off the wall
and somewhere in the darkness you know that theres a table with a razor without a blade
and the blade is in your hand and your blood is on the sheets
clench your fist to hide the shame and burn yourself against the grain
as you're trying to find the words to say, 'no;
'Im not okay,' but instead you stutter, and youve lost that word that will almost explain it,
an empty space
the sudden absence of a word leaving
a gap
like the gap in your flesh where the blade has been