It is no longer a concious effort. I simply forget about eating now. I realised about 10 minutes ago that I felt hungry, then remembered I haven't eaten since ...when... I think I had a salad sunday night. (Its tuesday night/ wednesday morning now).
This isn't bulimia. This isn't anorexia. Trust me, food is always on your mind. You do not hate food, you love it. But you cannot eat it. So you think about it, you smell it, you look at it, but you do not eat.
This is.... nothing. I am simply forgetting to live.
I don't know what's going on in my head. I am not starving myself, I don't think, consciously, at least, because even when I do think of food, I feel like all my tastebuds are cardboard.
I like orange juice watered down. Less calories.
There. When I do eat, I count calories, every fucking one of them. I try to stay below 500 per day. It's been going well, and I've stopped purging (easier than I thought it would be). (Still very hard.)
But mostly, I don't think of food.
I don't think of anything.
I worry about you.
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