I managed to hold myself together all day but now that I'm alone I'm hurting so much. What am I doing with my life??!!! This is irreversible. I feel that the only way out would be to kill myself. I am a disaster. And the feeling that this is how I will feel for the rest of my life is killing me. Im sorry, really, more than everything. I'm sorry I am not good enough. Im sorry I lie. Im sorry.
Im crying my fucking eyes out. The type of crying that you choke up and can't breathe and hiccup and it's not very pretty. I am so lost.
Help me. Please.
Just leave me alone.
I dont know what I want.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY I JUST WANT TO DIE
TO PUT IT BLUNTLY
I AM FUCKING LOST
I AM FUCKING DEAD INSIDE

I AM NO LONGER TRYING TO IMPRESS ANYONE
I COULDNT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME
MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED CARING ABOUT ME, THEN YOU WOULDNT GET HURT