I just can't shake this feeling, this yearning to feel hungry, that pain in your stomach, the cramps, the headaches and the tiredness... the blackouts when you stand up or when you walk too long. I want to feel empty, hollow, light... I am yearning, reaching, striving towards perfection. I want my ribs to show, I want my pants to pull across my hipbones leaving a gap over my stomach, I want my collarbones to cast shadows on my chest bones, I want to be able to trace the outline of my skeleton -my skin stretched tight over my bones. Pure, happy, free...
I won't eat untill I reach perfection; I can't eat or I won't reach perfection. I want to look in the mirror and not cry. I want to be the thinnest, I want to be happy, I want to like myself. I want people to describe me as the thin one; I need this. Coffee and smokes, and cold diet cokes... that's what pretty girls are made of.