how do i say all these things inside me?
never really meant it before i dont think
i think this is something really important
so i gotta wait for the right moment

i miss you

and i really suck at words right now, nothing i think ever comes out right
everythings really clumsy and i dont know how to say anything

im really stressed out
this whole 'getting your life together' shit is hard,
its not what i expected at all,
considering the real reason i was dropping out was so i could get stoned and drink the days away
without worrying about school
but now
i'll be in jobs 38hrs a week if i get it
and im scared
what if i dont want this?
i need the money though, really
but i dont know what to think about myself...
this is the turning point...
do i grow up now and leave everyone else behind?
cause im gonna lose alot of my time
and my friends, the ones i have left,
and im gonna miss everything about who i used to be
especially not giving a shit

this is hard because i have to actually care, and im scared
thats just it, i never thought i would admit it
but im fucking terrified
im not ready for this
how come everyone else got it so easy??!!