Tonight I feel like all the things I used to think that would pull me down are coming back to me. I really want to cut, to bleed, see the stark white inside of my flesh in the moments before the blood spews forth, I want to feel that warm blood rush, I want every muscle in my body to contract in pain as the knife grates across my bone, I want to pull out all the hair on my head and smash my fists against the wall. Im so lost.
Everything is getting to be too much, and Im scared. I don't want to go back to where I was.
I really need you right now, but I can't...
I just cant.